


The Pain of Loving Abby Griffin

by Veridissima



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Comfort/Angst, F/F, F/M, Pre-Canon, Sexual Roleplay, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-07 17:45:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19474189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veridissima/pseuds/Veridissima
Summary: After a strange night two weeks ago, Callie needs to have a particular conversation with Marcus.





	The Pain of Loving Abby Griffin

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Melanie_b](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melanie_b/gifts).



> Happy belated Birthday, Mel!!!! I hope this first few weeks into this new year have gone well - you're awesome and super kind, and thank you for being an amazing friend and a spectacular trash mom!!!
> 
> We've talked about this fic a few times, so at some point I decided to make it for you :) But it's weird, and while it's kabby, they don't actually touch each other, so Mel if you ever want something different, let me know - I will write anything for you :D
> 
> I wish you a fabulous year, full of love and light, everything you desire!! You deserve the world!!! Enjoy some weird smut...

The first time it happened he didn't look at her for two weeks. He didn't look at her until she pushed him.

They were at a dinner party at the Griffins – _privileges of being a member of the Council, you could request your rations to take home on occasion_ – and they were all there. The Griffins with their beautiful blonde six-year-old girl, the Jahas with the politest boy in the world, and Callie and Marcus, their still single friends.

During dinner Marcus hadn't dared to look at her, or at Abby or Jake, keeping his conversation only to Thelonious and his wife. But now he was alone as the parents looked at their children's drawings.

“You did nothing wrong,” she told him, coming to stand next to him.

“Callie...”

“You didn't.”

“She's married.”

“You didn't do anything wrong. You never acted on it. You never made a move on Abby and you never would while she's married and in love with Jake,” she whispered, making him look at her with a mortified look. “And neither have I or would I. We did nothing wrong.”

“Does believing that make you feel better?” She had no answer to that question. “It doesn’t, does it? What Abby would think if she knew?”

“Marcus…”

“I was drunk, Callie. We shouldn’t talk about it.” He wanted to leave, he felt trapped – the Griffin quarter, even if bigger than most, was still a quarter in the Ark. Leaving right now would just call attention to them.

“Come with me,” she told him, taking his hand and their glasses from the table, before walking to bedroom.

“Not in our room, Callie,” they heard Abby yell with a laugh as they closed the door.

“Why are we here?”

“Because you haven’t looked at me in two weeks,” she told him. “You can’t look at Abby or Jake. The guilt is eating you alive, Marcus, and that’s not okay. You’re not wrong for being in love with her.”

“I’m not,” he argued, making Callie role her eyes.

“I’m in love with Abby, Marcus. I’ve been since I was a teenager,” she admitted. “I know how it is to love her.”

“Callie…”

“I know you won’t admit it, Marcus, but please sit down with me,” she said from the bed. Marcus didn’t move.

“I can’t.”

“Why? I just want to speak. You can’t never look at them again.”

“I will talk, just not there. Not on the bed.”

“Ohhh…” she realized what he meant and stood as well, refraining from telling him that she knew they had christened every damn place in their chamber. “I will stand,” she said, walking up to their bedroom window.

“The view is beautiful,” he said, coming to stand next to her, startling her. “I wish I had a view like this. I always did. My family quarter had no windows, and at the guards, there’s always someone there.”

“You’ll get a view if you win the election.”

“I know.”

“You will be living here, close to Abby and Jake.”

“Callie…”

“We need to talk about this,” she said turning to him, her back at the window, Marcus so close to her, that she could smell him, feel his hot breath on her – everything she wanted to do was kiss him, be lost in his lips and his hands on her hips, everything was easier than the conversation they needed to have. “Marcus, you need to be able to look at them,” she said, escaping from his arms, and lowering herself to the floor, and pulling him with her. Side to side was safer.

“I’m not in love with her.”

“Marcus…”

“I’m not, Callie. I just thought about her. We had just had the debate and we had been arguing and then I drank a bit too much, after completely tanking the debate, and--”

“And it has nothing to do, with the fact that the shirt she was wearing was low cut and almost see-through.”

“I didn’t…”

“You didn’t notice, right? That was what messed with my head, and the drinking too. I was drinking to not think about it, and then you came in when everything in my mind was Abby. The way she smells, the way she looks, the way she touched me, the way she loved me…”

“You dated? I thought we were just best friends.”

“I guess that’s what we were… We slept together, we wanted to explore and we had each other, but we never gave it a name, but I thought it was more – I love her, she loved me too, but she wasn’t in love. She told me she was in love with this funny boy with blond hair, and I let her go.”

“Why? Why did you let her go? If I had her--”

“She’s not someone to have, Marcus.”

“I know, I didn’t mean that. If I was with her.”

“When you love someone, you let them be with the person they love.”

“What about you? Should we stop this if you love her?”

“Marcus, I know what I’m doing. And I promise if I fall in love, I’ll let you know,” she told him, before patting his thigh, near his top and stopping there.

“You think we could ever love each other?” he asked her, taking her hand.

“I don’t know. Part of me never believes I’ll love like I love her, but I hope I will.”

“So why? Why all of these… the dates, the relationships if it’s for nothing.”

“It’s not for nothing, Marcus. I like creating relationships, building a life, feeling the happiness of a crush and a first kiss. And I like having sex with you,” she told him with a smile. “I hope you do to,” she said straddling his lap.

“I do,” he whispered, before pulling her mouth down to his. She had missed his sure kisses, methodical and hard, life consuming, as he did now, his tongue probing her mouth opened.

As they kissed, Callie could feel the hand that wasn’t on her hair, taking hold of her hips, while her own hand, looked for support on the window, as the other held his hair, almost deprived of gel by the end of a long day, the way she liked it best, and with that she started thrusting her hips, feeling Marcus grow harder under her.

Marcus moaned into her mouth, as they pulled back.

“Callie, you can’t,” he started to say, but she moved her hips again, and reason no longer mattered as he took hold of her hips and pushed his pelvis on to her. Their pants were in the way, but she could feel him, she wasn’t sure if she could come this way, only from this friction, but she knew something that would help.

This could be either a big mistake and take back everything, or a step forward to start something new between them.

“Abby is just outside that wall. If you’re not quiet, she will hear you.” It worked, Marcus lifted his hips even higher, before crushing their lips together.

The kiss grew as intense as their movements, as his hands tried to do the best to get her clothes off, both being very conscious of where they were and completely ignoring it.

“Come on you two,” a voice said, from the door, _her_ voice, they hadn’t heard the door open. “I knew I shouldn’t have left you here alone. At least it wasn’t the bed.”

Abby left after that, and Callie felt him fall under her completely defeated, leading to Callie climbing off him and standing up.

“How are you holding up? Can you come?” he sent her a look at the question. “Okay, I didn’t mean that, I mean coming outside and look Abby on the face.”

“I need to let this, you know…”

“I can suck you off,” she offered.

“Abby just caught us, so no.”

“Ohhh… you can say her name now. And can you admit that her being outside made you hotter.”

“Callie…”

“Come on, just admit it, and I’ll leave you alone,” she told him as she sat on the bed, crossing her legs and looking at him.

“Callie…”

“Come on, Marcus, you’re not fooling anyone,” she said. “We’re here waiting, because right now you have a hard-on.”

“What do you want me to say?” he said, standing up, and he straightened his pants, trying to make his boner less obvious.

“The truth,” she said standing up, knowing she wouldn’t let him pass before he told her the truth. “If you want to pass, you say it.”

“Okay.”

“Marcus…” she started ready to argue, before noticing he had actually said okay. “What? Okay, what?”

Marcus stepped close to her, lowering himself enough, so his lips her close to her ear, so only she could hear, as the door was still semi-open.

“Knowing they, no, knowing Abby was out there made this better.”

“See, was this so hard?” she asked and guessing by his blushing his face it was (and judging by the way he was fixing his pants again). “Come home with me tonight. I would like to finish this.”

“I… I will.”

“Good,” she said, and Callie took his hand. “We should join them out there, before Abby comes here again.”

“Right.”

Marcus followed Callie out, and the moment they were there Clarke ran to her and she dropped his hand to pick up the girl.

“I made a drawing of you, Aunt Cece, come see,” Clarke asked, pointing at the table, before squirming away back to the floor. Marcus saw Callie sit down on the floor, between the kids, with Abby with them.

Marcus instead had to make a decision, of where to go, and Callie was right she couldn’t avoid them forever, so he joined Jake and Thelonious in the couch, as they discussed over some issue in engineering, which while he couldn’t really follow, it was enough to keep his mind of things that weren’t ideal to think about now, until they found a topic where he could join in.

* * *

The night ended. Clarke and Wells fell asleep on the couch after a tiring day, and he had to be carried home in Thelonious’ arms. Marcus shook hands with Jake and nodded at Abby, as discreetly as he could, he waited for Callie to kiss and hug both Abby and Jake goodbye.

“See you tomorrow, Abs,” she said, before they closed the door on them. Callie started walking away, and Marcus quickly followed her, they kept their distance from each other as they crossed the station – Alpha was still mildly awake at 2200, but Tesla was mostly a ghost town.

“You can walk with me,” Callie told him, four small corridors from her quarters – she knew they wouldn’t run into anyone else now. She had learned to not question how he kept away as they walked together, even as it was rather public knowledge that they were some sort of item.

Marcus stepped closer to her, still behind her, but at least she could feel his presence now, his steps a bit noisier and faster than hers – she knew he was getting impatient which didn’t happen often.

“It’s the next door on the right.”

“I’m aware, Callie.”

“I know you are.”

Callie still lived in the same quarters where she had grown up, after her mother remarried two years ago, it had gone to her. It wasn’t particularly large, but she knew it was bigger than the one Marcus grew up on, and the window was a luxury – her bed as a child had been right next to it. Now the room had only one bed, and a small table and a closet, but the biggest luxury in her room was the bathroom, and while she still didn’t have a shower, a private toilet was something noticeable.

Callie unlocked her door, it had been the day her parents had married her whole life, Marcus had told her it was a too easy of a code – which she obviously knew, but she still wasn’t changing it. Marcus followed her in, and made himself comfortable, he knew her room well, since he had shared a room with someone all the time she had known him, they almost always ended up back here, which had been harder when her mom was still around. This could change if he won the election coming up – he had been stressing about that lately.

“I just need to use the bathroom,” she told him. “If you want to undress for me.”

Marcus didn’t question her, even when she had used the bathroom right before they left the Griffin’s. So here was Callie, pulling out her medical coat from where she had hidden it under her jacket, undressing the rest of her clothes, trying to see herself in the small mirror next to the basin.

Callie wondered if she should keep her underwear or not, it wasn’t nothing special tonight, a ratty sports bra and boxers, and she would have probably kept it on for someone else, but Marcus had knowledge of her body like nobody else.

She pulled Abby’s blue coat over her naked body, tying it in the middle, giving her some sense of modesty, and then freed her hair, pulling it to the side, before fitting it into a braid – it looked a bit longer than Abby’s, and their features were nothing alike, but this was something, and she just hoped this wasn’t some big mistake.

She folded the rest of her clothes and put it aside, before peaking through the door, Marcus was on her bed, a bit lost about what to do, but he sat in his boxers, playing with the sheet on the bed. Callie took a last deep breath and slowly opened the door, he didn’t hear her, so she cleared her throat.

Marcus looked up, and it was like his eyes almost jumped out of his head.

“Callie…”

“Not Callie. Call me Doctor--" Callie pondered between Griffin and Walters, but both of those made one thing clear, that shouldn’t be present in this room. “Abby. Call me Abby.”

“Callie…”

“Not Callie, Marcus,” she spoke. “Abby…” she whispered climbing over the bed.

“We shouldn’t… this is not okay… what if…”

“She will never know, Marcus.”

“Your clothes…”

“She left them here a few days ago,” she lied to him. “This is not wrong. Kiss me, Marcus – close your eyes and feel the braid.”

Marcus closed his eyes, and he felt Callie’s lips tenderly on his, there was something particular about kissing her, something familiar and sweet, which he welcomed, but it was different right now, it was a different type of kiss. Marcus kissed her back, and his hand found her braid and it felt different, somehow his tired brain let the vision play.

As they kissed, it was easy to have their eyes closed, so he let Abby kiss him, his hand reaching under her medical coat, pulling her close to him. He almost opened his eyes, but she held them closed as she kissed down his chest, still completely silent.

“Abby, please…”

Callie smiled at the name. And continued softly kissing down his body, she almost nibbled close to his collarbone, but Abby wouldn’t know that, so she kept things simple between them, kissing down his body, until she pulled off his boxers, starting to kiss his thigh and massaging his balls. Knowing this was safer… she wanted to fuck him, but her moans would give it away, so she kept going, letting him picture Abby.

“You don’t need to...” he whispered, but that moment he felt a hot mouth on his cock, moving slowly. “Abby, fuck!!”

Marcus almost opened his eyes at that, and she knew, because before he knew it, she had pulled something around his eyes, leaving him completely blind, before kneeling between his legs once again.

Abby felt good on him, she knew what to do – her little tongue around his head and her hand at the base. Something felt familiar, but every time it did his hand held onto the braid – he felt that and the coat – with years of work poured into it.

He could see her little head with light brown hair, moving, he could see her eyes flashing at her, filled with love and passion and desire. Just that image was almost enough to make him come, but he didn’t, not until a few moments later.

“Abby, I’m going to…” Of course, she didn’t answer, she couldn’t ruin the fantasy now, but she didn’t pull back – that was something Callie did, not Abby. So she did just that and tried her best to swallow the cum.

Callie cleaned him up, before climbing up to his head, letting him throw his arms around her, holding her there for a few seconds, before she pulled his blindfold off, slowly across his head, seeing his eyes opening up to look at her.

“Thank you, Callie,” Marcus whispered, kissing the top of her head, holding her a bit closer, in a sign on intimacy they didn’t share often. But the hug couldn’t last much longer, he pulled back, laying a soft kiss on her lips.

The kiss was something different. Marcus could taste himself on her lips and the reality of this game and fantasy was more and more real. It had been Callie with him, not Abby – she was home with her husband and child.

“You didn’t have to,” he whispered back from the kiss, cleaning the bit of cum on the side of her lip with his thumb. Callie never swallowed, normally she finished him with her hand onto his belly, he knew she didn’t like the taste and it never bothered him.

“Abby does it. She told me… and I don’t, I was trying not to be me.”

“You should be you. You’re good,” he told her, before rolling her and laying her down on bed, opening the buttons on the coat, freeing her breasts to his lips, taking one in his mouth and the other one in hand.

Marcus was a methodical lover, he knew how to touch her, how to bring her the most pleasure, and the smell of Abby around them intensified everything. Marcus kissed down to her stomach before he stopped and looked up.

“What do you want, Callie?”

“This is good,” she answered him.

“What can I do to be more like Abby?” he asked her, looking to the side, and afraid to look at her. Callie laid a hand on his cheek, trying to make him look at her, he didn’t but he spoke. “I know I can’t put on a braid or be shorter, but--"

“Can you go down on me?” It wasn’t something Marcus did often, but he didn’t hate it, he looked up at her now, and nodded. “No hands, your fingers are too... man like.”

“That’s good,” he told her with a smile.

“And can you be a bit less precise?”

“I thought you liked--”

“I do. But Abby can be precise, but she can also be--”

“Feasting on your cunt.”

“Yes,” she answered.

“Should you be blindfolded?” he asked her before starting.

“Just go under the covers, but tie my hands behind my back,” she asked. “If I reach for your hair--”

“The fantasy will be gone,” he answered, doing as she asked with her hands, before checking she was okay, and climbing under the covers.

Marcus tried his best not to touch her, using the mattress for support, when everything he wanted to do was hold her hip and pull her closer, but he kept himself from doing it, and instead softly kissed her cunt, trying to not follow what his mind told him to do.

Callie closed her eyes and laid back, her hands pulling on each other and she felt him touch her… _felt her touch her_ , she told herself, as she moaned.

Callie was still not saying her name. Marcus wanted to give her that moment, that fantasy, so he tried something he had heard about but never tried, he spelt A-B-B-Y with his tongue, over and over again.

She couldn’t figure out what was going on, not for a bit, until she felt it, each letter forming and she let it out.

“Abby…”

She received a sweet touch of the tip of a tongue to her clit, and she was gone, it was Abby with her. The memories of them together in the past, how they knew and discovered each other, Callie went back in time, when things had been definitely simpler between them.

“Abby, faster.”

Marcus heard her, and just like that he moved his tongues in quick strokes, before moving back to the labia, knowing that he was feeling too much like him. He continued to try to feel her out, trying to ignore what he knew, and even in part he had to adventure outside the norm, without being able to use his fingers.

He learned new things about Callie as he touched her, and Abby’s name got louder and louder, and he didn’t know if the same had happened when she was the one with him, but there was a mix of desire and guilt inside of him.

Callie felt herself getting close. Knowing how their mouth touched her, the touches new and different, sometimes quick and slow, and with barely teaching her clit, until she was close enough, until she whispered.

“I’m so close… Make me come.”

The warm feeling deep on her belly built, built stronger that it normally did, and before she knew she was coming, Abby’s name in her voice, as her hands tried to pull away, tried to touch something, to feel something to ground her as she came down from the high.

Callie kept her eyes closed. And Marcus waited, he didn’t want to break this yet, not yet, he wanted to give her time. Marcus waited but his neck grew tired he rested his head on her thigh, the different pressure made her open her eyes.

“Come here, Marcus. Untie me,” she asked. He did as she asked, helping her with the jacket and the hair as well.

“Will you stay the night?” Callie asked him.

“I have a shift at 0400 but I can stay.” He wasn’t ready to leave her now, everything still felt too raw. “You can never tell her,” Marcus asked her as they laid face to face in the bed.

“I won’t. I don’t want her to know about me either. She will feel guilty and there’s nothing she will be able to do about it.”

“Why do you always protect her?”

“I don’t. But it’s not strange that I would want my friends to be okay, my best friend.”

“You matter too, Callie.”

“I won’t tell her, Marcus,” she promised, moving closer to him, but not touching him, their heads close enough to hear him whisper.

“Thank you.” It wasn’t exactly clear what the thank you was for, but Callie took it and closed her eyes, the past in mind, covering up the guilt. Marcus slept inches from her, guilt clear in his head, as his heart couldn’t imagine what the future had in store for him.

The guilt over what they had done sometimes was too much, but it happened a few more times, a few more times they came with her name on their lips over the years. And many nights from now, in a world Marcus and Callie could have only imagined as children and it only became reality to one of them, Marcus broke their promise and told Abby about these nights he had shared with her best friend.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is also a follow up to the fic of my dreams, where Marcus and Callie have really rough sex saying Abby's name, but since I can't write that, at some point I just decided to write the follow up... But hey, if anyone wants to write a prequel to this, please do :)


End file.
